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EDSBSGPS: WHERE T'INTERNET AT, WEEK 5

It's a cold, lonely world out there, WebPals. Stick together out there, and if you must watch Buffalo-UConn, make sure you have backup. (If you're going in person, bring backup but no supplies - you're better off slipping into a coma due to dehydration.)

By Ryan Nanni

ORSON (ATHENS)

Marveling at the unlocked ammunition dump that is Baylor-West Virginia, and then spending the day at Tennessee-Georgia, so the look for the shirtless man shouting "ROLL TIDE" with Mike Shula in profile shaved into his chest.

RUN HOME JACK (BROOKLYN)

Baylor-West Virginia, Arkansas-Texas A&M, Virginia Tech-Cincinnati, Tennessee-Georgia, Ohio State-Michigan State, Louisiana Tech-Virginia, FSU-USF (THE PALINDROME BOWL), South Carolina-Kentucky, Oregon State-Arizona. Most of these are only being selected because there isn't anything good on basic cable movie-wise. DAREDEVIL IS SHIT, TNT.

LUKE (DREAMLAND)

Not the restaurant, but the fictional setting of the hit Game Boy adventure starring Kirby. You remember - the series where Kirby sucks up and eats his foes and then absorbs their powers. It's a metaphor for Urban Meyer's recruiting strategy.

Gps_week_5_medium

Drunk Luke will later wonder - if I eat this pepperoni pizza, can I BECOME this pepperoni pizza? Yes, Drunk Luke. Yes, you can. That's where species really come from, and it's why evolution is bullshit.

(Can you tell we're anticipatorily bored? Shit, you should be, too.)