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THE SCHEMBECHLER ESTATE SALE ASKS: HOW MUCH FOR A BOX OF FEMURS?

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What better way to say "Go Blue" than with a box of human femurs?

Ronald Martinez - Getty Images

The "last Schembechler in Ann Arbor" is the subject of an estate sale. We don't know which Schembechler, exactly, but they do have some very Bo-ish things. There is a ton of Michigan memorabilia, a pretty well-stocked power rack (respect, Unknown Squatting Schembechler), and a circus-themed hot dog cooker we would wager is only something that was every purchased by a.) someone who lived in the Midwest and b.) was over sixty years old.

There is also a box of bones labeled "Bones/Office."

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If you need to find someone missing in the Michigan area with at least seven femurs, we may have found a grim answer to all those questions we have. Whatever mystery surrounds "The Schembechler Bones," know this: we're certain there's an explanation, and we're even more certain none of the conquests come from Southern California, particularly from the area surrounding the Rose Bowl.*

*Bones may also belong to one of Hayden Fry's eight-legged octo-mistresses. It takes a lot of man to love an octo-mistress, but Hayden Fry never backed down from a challenge. Why Schembechler has them in his garage will be the basis for a truly horrendous Bradlee Cooper movie coming out next fall.