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QUEEFCORE BEATDOWN. BRB, just watching this all day:

On mute. ON MUTE.

HOLTZ MEANS HARD WOOD, IRONIC WHEN USF COULD NOT GET IT UP. USF lost to Rutgers last night by the score everyone seems to lose to Rutgers by--something like twentysomething to teensomething--and that gives you an excellent opportunity to cite horrifying records, USF blog Voodoo Five. You go right ahead and do that.

Mark at Big East Coast Bias rattled off this ugly stat last night -- USF's seven wins since the end of the 2010 season are against Notre Dame, Ball State, Florida A&M, UTEP, Syracuse, Chattanooga, and Nevada.

Jim Leavitt, like his mentor Bill Snyder at Kansas State, was an absolute wizard. A wizard who sort of hit a kid in a locker room, but they only take your job for that, not the pointy hat and wand. Oh, and Rutgers' holder dislocated his pinky but still held onto the ball on a kick. You don't want to see it, so here it is.

HE'S A BALLPLAYER. Manti Te'o will play against Michigan State despite losing his longtime girlfriend and his grandmother in the span of 24 hours. Thoughts, prayers, etc to him, because he has to be somewhere way, way out there emotionally right now. (via)

EXCLUSIVE [FUNNY OR DIE VOICE]. Amy K got the first interview with Jamie Kuntz, the gay football player North Dakota State kicked off the team for lying. Or being gay. Whatever you say, North Dakota State College of Science, but the whole interview comes out tomorrow on the Full Nelson. By the way, yes: that is a horrendous last name for anyone to have, but especially a gay man, and let's all chuckle about that openly.

DOOLEY TALKIN' FASHION! Part of Gameday tomorrow will be Derek Dooley talking about his orange pants, and no, stop. If you wanted "GRRR SERIOUS THINGS, " go to the NFL where they only talk about serious things like players being like women and the backup quarterback and punt protector for the Jets being the best player in the league.

THE MAGIC OF TWITTER: Things like this can happen, and happen quickly and with definite results!

BEING A VIDEO MAN MEANS VITAMIN D IS A DRUG. They really don't get outside very much.

ETC: But your honor, my client has some really, really amazing underwear on.