OH GOOD MORNING YOU LOST TO CHEAP FOOD KANSAS. Shutdown Fullback's morning after review is up, where we make fun of Alabama for only rushing for 100 plus yards against Western Kentucky. America is a lost cause, and we have all forgotten our core values.
We joke about that rushing total, but it was f you really are serious about things, you don't just change your team affiliation: you change your SOUL'S AFFILIATION. Hail Saban.
JOHN L. SMITH IS STILL EMPLOYED. We think he is, at least. Arkansas Expats has tons of good shit on this morning, but this is probably the best summary of the disaster if you havent' read any of them yet. Bill C also took a crack at explaining the inexplicable, but it's John L. Smith and Arkansas. Explain things at your own risk, or just watch ULM Coach Todd Berry get hugged by a cop.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEDAY. Knoxville will be the site of Gameday for the Florida/Tennessee game because this weekend features very few matchups of top 25 teams playing each other, and also because Kirk Herbstreit now lives in Franklin and it's a short drive from his house. This last part is not true, but this is: they'll probably end up picking Kenny Chesney, and not the rightful Lord of the Dance for the picks. (More on this later today. #WEHOPEYOUDANCE )
Tennessee's improving. No really, there are numbers, and not just pointing to NC State and going, "ugh, NC State."
AGGIES DOING AGGIE THINGS. Snake: it's what's for dinner at TAMU tailgates. Johnny Manziel is going to be so freaking good once he starts looking downfield, so enjoy that, SEC West.
WISCONSIN DOES NOT PLAY, EITHER. Lose to Oregon State, lose your offensive line coach in week two when your coach fires his ass.
DEVON WALKER NEWS. The Tulane player who was carted off the field after CPR was administered to him went in surgery last night for his spinal injury. Updates to come.
DAMN, TCU. Jetpacks, TCU? Y'all livin' in the future--a future with astonishing traffic accidents.
ETC: Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiden! Drug subs are ten seconds away from being mentioned in a Rick Ross track, and Rick Ross will never own one, but Rick Ross. Montana and App State is clearly the most important thing in the world. (via)