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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 8/30/2012

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ERMAHGERD, ETC.

College football is here. We made it, friends. Please remember this when it's South Carolina 10 - Vanderbilt 6 midway through the 4th quarter.

THE ANIMATRIX RELOADED As in you might wanna reload your browser, buddy. Those GIFs sure take up a lot of RAM!

EDSBS stalwart Bobby Big Wheel previews your college football team (and its conference cousins) in .3 second delayed frames turned animation form. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll probably mispronounce GIF.

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Enjoy your ginn & tonics and all those rare gims at the museum before you check out all the gurraffs at the zoo.

Hope your aller-gick reaction to those guy-iant gurms clear up real soon. It was probably all psychologecal anyways.

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR LOVER IN ONE HUNDRED EASY STEPS One thousand year old cleric Bill Connelly wrote 124 (!) previews of collge football teams across the country. You think writing a hundred steps to learning to love college football all over again is shit to him? Difficult takes a day, impossible takes Bill Connelly about two and a half hours and a pot of coffee.

THE DREAD PIRATE RISES After three years catching cat burglars stealing jewelry from his novelty mansion, Mike Leach BACK (TM @Jose3030). He's even been making a few improvements to the grounds:

On the bottom level of his new five-bedroom house, Mike Leach has been adding some finishing touches to his home movie theater.

Two statues of pirates stand on the floor. A few feet away, two framed photos of Clint Eastwood and John Wayne lean on the ground. In front, a movie screen covers an entire wall, blankly waiting for an audience.

The more things change, the more they stay exactly the same. Pullman > Lubbock is the new math, y'all. Know it. Learn it. Live it. The raid in Provo goes down at 10:15 P.M. EST this evening on ESPN.

URBAN MEYER IPHONE 5 HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE CURE While Mike Bianchi's busy stringing together the perfect SEO troll gasoline fire to blame Florida's forthcoming 7-5 season on Urban Meyer (XOXO Spencer/RHJ), some idiot makes the case that Ohio State's season hinges on the ghost of a five star linebacker. The reviews are in and "Luke..... You have NO clue.. You just throw out a STUPID Clueless Guess.You have No… idea about the Heart and Will of someone You Think You Know… You are a Half glass Ass." High praise, you guys.

ETC.:

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via /r/cfb/

This house then caught on fire while Brian VanGorder and three chicks from a Dairy Queen continued to shoot their auteur film in the Chrysler Town & Country parked across the street.