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PENN STATE PRESS CONFERENCE PROMISES EVERYTHING FIXED AND PERFECT

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Mark Emmert will announce the sudden, unprecedented, and immediate penalties against Penn State this morning, something that will fix everything, rectify every wrong done by college athletics, and certainly not lead to more dictatorial stupidity from an organization whose first job is running a billion dollar basketball tournament, and whose second responsibility is preserving an arcane code designed to prevent people from being properly paid for their work.

It'll be aired live on the ESPN family of networks, and will be followed afterwards by measured debate by intelligent people like Skip Bayless, Matt Millen, and Stephen A. Smith. If you are seeing the opening of Children of Men in your head, and your brain is wandering around with its own severed arm in its hand, and you're thinking we all deserve this, you...you'd be right. You'd be utterly and completely right.