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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 7/13/2012

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ONE BIG UNDEROO SUIT. The new Aggie uniforms look a lot like one full body suit of 1970s underwear with the white piping everywhere, and...we have no problem with this whatsoever, actually, since 1970s underwear was pretty boss, along with everything else about the 1970s.

The gloves work, the pants look snazzy, and the helmets aren't as dumb as the Ming the Merciless helmets Ohio State trotted out last year for the Wisconsin game. Whatever you can say about a uniform, you can say that it almost certainly doesn't look as dumb as those helmets. Now please ignore the Kidd Video 2005 unis Florida wore at the Georgia game, and we can all move on in harmonious agreement on this point. (Superb file name for that photo, btw.)

STILL MORE PENN STATE ROUNDUP. Our very own Mr. Big Wheel on the less-than-devastating damages Penn State is likely to pay out to victims. Ratto on the bureaucratic implications. Brian on the mini-fridge factor, something you'll have to read to understand but is still well worth your time. What the hell was Matt Millen doing anywhere yesterday, much less on television? Finally, why the state of Pennsylvania found so much less than the Freeh report did. (Because they didn't want to find anything, mostly.) Probably not helping very much, dude. Probably not helping at all.

HEY, MORE ACTUAL FOOTBALL. Calling Braxton Miller in year one "half Denard, half Sunseri" feels so weird, but yet so right.

WELL-DONE SON. Most of you already know, but let it be noted that yes, this is a new level in rivalry spitedom.

SPEAKING OF PEOPLE EJECTING FROM ALABAMA. Sims is nice, but it's not like Virginia has just the QB spot to worry about, especially with them losing 75% of their starting defensive backfield and defensive line to graduation, etc.

NOOOOOOOOOPE. But it's a very provocative headline, sirs!

THE MOST AUBURN STORY EVER. BIONIC DONKEYS ARE COMING TO OPELIKA.

ETC: An amazing and very eerie story about a lost autistic kid from Outside. If you're in Ames, iowa and need a bike, we have your man. Oh sure, make the black ring the biggest one.