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Someone call Mack Brown and wake him the hell up (because you know he sleeps until ten every day) to tell him that his loyal servant Pimp Cow is dealing out the PUNISHMENT on Shutdown Fullback this week. IT'S THE BIG TWELVE EPISODE AVAILABLE ONLY ON THE LONGHORN NETWORK! SHARE IT WITH THE UP TO FIFTY OTHER SUBSCRIBERS!

This week's episode features us going off for a good twenty seconds on one particularly beloved new coach in the Big 12, a serious freakout about the Stoops brothers' reunion in Oklahoma, vast sound effects evoking fruitless wastes to evoke Texas Tech's current state of mind, a bold prediction about the Washington Redskins and their prospects in the Big 12, and our first real bit of pixellated nudity in the name of art. ENJOY, AND SUBSCRIBE TO THE LONGHORN NETWORK TO ENJOY THE REAL THRILLS OF BEVO'S ADULT CHAT! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU'LL MEET!*

*It's just Colt McCoy on the other end, asking for cake recipes. <---not a euphemism. He's really into baking.