clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:


New, 929 comments


There's a lot to review when it comes to new coaches in the SEC, but it is all just a flimsy excuse to get to talking about David Yost and his hair. People say different things with their hairstyles. Sometimes it's "I am organized, and can bathe myself regularly." Other times, a hairstyle says "I have a unique personality, and treat my personage like a work of art." Still other hairstyles say "I live not only with several children, but a mountain lion who believes my hair is a potent narcotic."

Yost's hair says exactly what you think it says.

  • "I own an ancient Dr. Zog's Sex Wax shirt, and wear it in public from time to time."
  • "I sleep in a drawer."
  • "I can and have opened beer bottles with my navel, but not without serious injury."
  • "My car and I both run on pure, delicious switchgrass biodiesel."
  • "Do you ever stop and just think 'What if my teeth ran away from home?' I do."
  • "Taco Tuesday is and has always been a priority in my life."
  • "I stretch often, sometimes in the middle of conversations."
  • "Of course I know where Bend, Oregon is."
  • "Arapahoe Basin just has like the most wicked powder I've ever seen in my entire life."

  • "I grow my own sustainable hair extensions from an edible native fungus."
  • "I've shoplifted, but only for love."
  • "This bidet is confusing."
  • "So powerful. But why doesn't Walt just break good?
  • "I own a sword."
  • "I always carry a beer with me just in case I meet a lucky lady or a thirsty horse."

We're so happy to have David Yost and Mizzou in the SEC. And his hair. Mostly his spread offense, but especially his hair.