Iowa has throwback uniforms, and they have reduced us to fake constipated Springsteen lyrics from the random glory word production machine that writes all lyrics for bands that use the word "heartland" without being bitchy about it. Sing along with the "Ballad of Poopsmith Ferentz," or "The Cornin'," or "Tractor Sunset," and be sure to bear down hard like you're trying to crap out the ghost of Woody Guthrie and several well-encamped Rolling Stone writers all at once.
(via)
[sing to the tune of "The Rising," or any other Bruce Springsteen song, really.]
Ain't got nothin' to live for
Little girl it's me and you
And this poop brown ol' jersey I got
From somewhere back around '52ooooohhhh
There's a dusty road full o' nothin'
Little girl put your hand in miiiiiiiine
The kids on the street lookin' hard
Some swamps and random references to 1969iiiiiine
There's a handful of angels behind us
Bells in the air and American woooorrrrds
Vague godly mentions and blue jeans
Apostrophes endin' all ah yer verrrbbbbbs
Corn poop shirts for the Hawkeyes
Corn poop shirts for the heartland booyyyyyyys
Corn poop shirts for the Hawkeyes
Corn poop shirts and AMERICAN NOIIIIIIISE
Lord here's the part where we are quiet
Just an ol' fish tuggin' at the same ol' hooook
A Brett Favre Wrangler ads for your ears
Real folks talkin' about about AMERRRIIICAAAAN BOOOOKS
Corn poop shirts are authentic
Corn poop shirts the STANZICAN WAAAYAYYY
Corn poop shirts for the critics
Hobos, vague something and ANGELS AT PLAAAAYYYYY
Corn poop shirts for the Hawkeyes
Corn poop shirts for the heartland booyyyyyyys
Corn poop shirts for the Hawkeyes
Corn poop shirts and AMERICAN NOIIIIIIISE
[fade out]
[seriously if you write five thousand songs ten will be good]
[grrr heartland and Tom Joad and stuff]
[Bruce Springsteen is musical American Apparel for the NPR crowd craving authentic heartlandness]
[Also, these jerseys really aren't horrible save for the poop colors, and Wyoming wears worse shit every week HA GET IT.]
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