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WE'RE SO HONORED. The Portland Naked Bike Ride took place this past weekend, and like it or not, EDSBS was there. (See the chest lettering, for those on mobile or squint-life.)


We want to say this is not the natural conclusion to years of this blog's evolution, but we all know it is. GO DUCKS.

HUSTLIN' FOR THEM THREE STARS. Randy Edsall's recruiting light at the end of the tunnel may actually be seven glowsticks at the bottom of a mineshaft, since once you look at this article's mentioned recruits you realize they're all three stars and two stars. They are locally sourced, though, so farm-to-table recruiting lovers approve of the environmentally sensitive move.

THIS HAPPENS. They've already made the obvious SEC speed jokes, so please to enjoy Eleven Warriors' state seal piece, conceived at the same time as ours, but scheduled for a date slightly behind ours and very different in concept.

HELLO GRADUATE OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MANILA SCHOOL OF LAW. The grand strategy behind Jerry Sandusky's defense seems to be emerging, and it is please let's just put this man in jail and hope the check does not bounce.

HE'S LICENSED, UNLIKE DANIEL "BANKSY" MOORE. We like that the Alabama football art market is big enough to support two titans of their genre.

BECAUSE HE LIKES COLLISIONS. No, really, Dana Holgorsen not only recruits fullbacks, but likes them, too. You know, for the "collisions."

NOTRE DAME REALLY SHOULD ADD TOM HAMMOND'S HEAD TO THE UNI. If terror is your friend, you can never lose, and nothing is more terrifying than Tom Hammond's floating head.

ETC. What, your kid is only BI-lingual? Have fun shoveling my child's shit for a living, peasant. Fesser's got a guest commentary on the delights of corporate-speak in action at universities.