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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 6/18/2012

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A TOUCHING MOMENT VISIBLE ON AT LEAST 4,500 HOMES IN THE LONGHORN NETWORK VIEWING ARC.

Mack Brown wouldn't have told that story again, dear. He would have had an assistant do it, or perhaps hold up a platinum-plated iPad of a replay while he did whatever Mack Brown does.

TODAY SHOULD BE RIFE WITH HORRENDOUS LAWYERING. The Sandusky trial goes into the defense phase today, meaning if you do follow along with Twitter the whole day you will see some exquisite legal squirming. Prosecutors are allowed to introduce new evidence, something they may do with the unaired portions of NBC's interview with Sandusky. Those transcripts include the phrase "And I didn't go around seeking out every young person for sexual needs that I've helped," so...the defense phase may be mercifully short.

SOUNDS LIKE HE'S READY FOR US. James Hearn was not ejected from FSU's 7-on-7 camp for doing the Gator Chomp specifically, but when you have a taunting rule and you happen to do that, well, you will get booted for breaking the rules in a particularly irksome fashion. (This has happened before in Florida football camps, and with the same result.)

LET'S NOT HURT JEFF SAGARIN'S FEELINGS. The diehard college football fan and FORTRAN enthusiast says he'd be disappointed if college football stopped using his rankings, and seriously, whatever happens in the BCS shakeout into a four-team playoff, let's not hurt Jeff Sagarin's feelings because he might be HAL.

IN HEAVEN THERE IS NO BEER, BUT THE RELEVANT TRADEMARKED LOGOS ARE COVERED UNDER THE CURRENT AGREEMENT. Iowa's licensing their logo for use in beer ads for "education," because like Wu-Tang, Iowa is for the kids, and something about drinking responsibly um sure yeah go Iowa.

FATHERS DAY REQUIRED READING. A day late, but Dan Werner's story doesn't really have an expiration date.

CUPPYCUP GOES HARD IN THE PAINT. It's not necessarily SFW, but if you didn't see the similarities between Baylor's proposed new stadium and a glistening new avant-garde commode, you will now.

TO KILL YOUR MONDAY PROPERLY. The Gameshow episode of Shutdown Fullback's second piece is really our finest work yet, mostly because of Jason playing the Big Ten to the hilt.

ETC: This is how you destroy a television show in one review. Tom Raper! And his giant 60 acres of Raper vehicles . The ideal Father's Day e-card starter. BELL BIV DEVOE AND THE CURSE OF THE MAYAN TOMBS. Sippin' On Purple had a very important weekend. You say "disastrous circus fire," and you have our full attention.