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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/24/2012

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WE WERE RUNNING YESTERDAY. And this song came on, and we imagined it was on tonight.

In under 100 days now, it will be. Now try getting anything done today.

GO AHEAD READ IT'S SAD AND AWESOME. Wright Thompson on Bear Bryant's driver. Did you know Bear had a copy of Portnoy's Complaint on the bookshelf? And that if Bear Bryant repeated the same obscene act that made the book famous, Alabama fans would happily devour the meat without cleaning off a drop of the great man's frogmen?

PLEASE WELCOME ZIGGY ANSAH. Bill C has BYU predictions for you, but we're still sort of hung up on a Ghanaian BYU player named "Ziggy."

THIS IS ESSENTIAL BECAUSE RINGO GLOVES THAT'S WHY. BHGP will be cheated out of a webby for this series, and that is just one of life's thousand hourly crimes.

NO, STREAMING THREE HOURS OF FOOTBALL IN YORU CUBICLE IS TOTALLY PRODUCTIVITY-ENHANCING. Maybe you'd like the world's greatest time suck? Well, here you are. We may or may not be watching the entire Baylor/Washington game over again this morning, so just ignore the peals of laughter at the coverages for both teams. (Via Reddit/CFB.)

/PLAYS PHIL COLLINS' "DON'T LET HIM STEAL YOUR HEART AWAY" John Swofford may be entering a bad space right now, man. Clemson's BOT meets today to discuss expansion, and people are reportedly tailgating the meeting.

VARIOUS STRATEGIC THINGS YOUR TEAM WILL TRY AND PROBABLY SCREW UP. Abundant Cover 3 beaters your team will probably just screw up and remember when Florida had offense, and hope of scoring? We don't, and this just reminded us of this sad fact. Also via Chris, there's Gus Malzahn breaking down how to pick apart Alabama's defense. First you need a plan, and then you need a Cam Newton. If you lack a Cam Newton, please substitute a pistol in your mouth as a reasonable and respectable alternative.

ARIZONA HONORS, UM, COPPER OR SOMETHING. They look nice, but at this point Arizona can now legally wear every color and claim it as a legitimate part of their uniform.

ETC: Being a descendent of a Nazi! Not fun! Sadly, your childhood dreams are not possible. Only the finest threads for the EDSBS office crew. Pauly Shore really did make a CMT feature film called Whiskey Business. JESUS WHAT IS THAT ZIGGURAT ON YOUR HEAD CHILD?