MUSCHLAB
Florida's coach feels better about things. Much better about things. Not just because he's seeing better effort and buy-in from his team, but also because this fish tank was really dirty, and now it's clean and those fish can breathe. Look at them just a-swimmin' around in there, would ya? (via ALL HAIL CATLAB)
RELEGATION WEEK UNVEILS EVEN MORE MADNESS. If you can get over how insane this all looks, you'll start to realize how well this might actually work. Does this leave open the possibility of Georgia Southern playing its way into the SEC? Oh, yes. Yes it does, those who've always wanted to taste the sweet waters of Erk Russell's beloved Eagle Creek.*
*SPOILER: It's a drainage ditch on their practice fields. Drink that water and DIE.
ROSE BOWL ROSE BOWL ROSE BOWL ROADS BOWEL ROTEL OH MY GOD IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. Dan Wetzel doesn't get why the Big Ten is so hung up on the Rose Bowl either, and clearly doesn't know about Jim Delany's lucrative job as a valet for the game. He makes, like, at least an additional three-hund-o on it bro, and that money the old lady never sees. You gotta keep a little something for just you, amirite?
LOOK, THAT NEW PRACTICE FIELD WASN'T GOING TO BUY ITSELF. Florida State is in the red, but there's a good reason for that: facilities expansion! There's also a bad reason: spending more money than you thought you'd make, and then having that bad thing happen where you have no money. We're snickering, and watching Jeremy Foley take his daily 30 miler wearing a sweatsuit made of hundred dollar bills sewn together with pure, freshly harvested saffron.
BEING NICKNAMED SQUIRT IN THE INTERNET AGE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE A BAD THING. So a player named "Squirt" isn't salacious at all because he's fast, elusive, and squirts right through holes. Wait, he plays for Dana Holgorsen? We're sorry, it's totally salacious and intentional.
ETC: Adios, sad banner ads of yore. The history of the quiet storm is soooo sexy. Kurt Busch losing his mind at Darlington is so [EXPLETIVE] entertaining. This is totally the key to the game.