THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/15/2012

SURE, IT'S BO JACKSON DAY. EVERY DAY IS BO JACKSON DAY. If he did not already exist, we would have had to invent Bo Jackson, and even then people still wouldn't believe you unless you showed them the footage. Then you'd show them this piece on Bo Bikes Bama, and you wouldn't believe them all over again.

It's the shot of the fat white kid clearly thrilled to be struggling to stay on Bo's wheel that kills us, but the whole thing is full of moments that transcend the usual "athlete does good for good thing" profile story. Watch it, and then read Jon Bois and Bomani Jones attempt to gauge why Auburn's finest running back ever--and think about that statement for a minute--was the greatest athlete anyone of a certain age has ever seen.

RELEGATION WEEK ROLLS ON. The movement builds as the mothership explains how relegation actually works.

THIS IS WHERE HALL OF FAME NEWS WOULD GO IF IT MATTERED. Hall of Fames require bland consensus and asking other people what's good or bad, and for that reason alone we disdain them. The only sport really serious about their Hall of Fame discussion is baseball, and that fact alone should incinerate any perceived value Hall of Fames have.

The other refutation of any consideration of discussion of whatever the college football hall of fame: Howard Schnellenberger and Tommie Frazier are not in it. So to hell with it. If you're the kind of person who does what you do for a plaque, award, or oddly colored jacket, exit the premises immediately. A viking swings the axe because it feels right in his hands, and lets others count the heads.

TEXAS IS STILL WEALTHY, WATER STILL WET, FLORIDA STATE STILL IN ACC. The annual review of program finances confirms what you know already: Texas is wealthy, and UNLV is really the opposite of that. Please note the position of Florida in that chart. SMELL THE ASS OF OUR HEAD, MICHIGAN.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STRESS A BERK. Mizzou's backup QB Corbin Berkstresser really committed two crimes: one, not playing lacrosse with that name, and two, leaving the scene of an accident. One is criminally actionable, and that's how you end up in jail in Columbia, Missouri, Ye Stresser of Berks.

ETC. Next Amateur? NEXT AMATEUR. Today's children can't throw an accurate ball or run, and no one's sure why. Andy would grow up to have a horrendous substance abuse problem.