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NEVER FORGET. Texas A&M plays in StarkTHRILL on November 3rd, and when they do Mississippi State will dazzle the eye by coming out in shiny all-whites. The uninitiated may raise an eyebrow, but savvy veterans will nod appreciatively and recognize the tribute to one of the greatest "OH SHIT SERIOUSLY GO TURN ON THE TV NOW" games, the 2000 Independence Bowl. Blinding snowstorms as a regular occurrence would make Shreveport an infinitely more likable place, but that's really true of most places.

Random snowstorms: the Fat Guy Touchdowns of climatic football factors.

WHAT EVIL PEOPLE ARE DOING TODAY. They're trying to figure out how to finish the college football season, and thus take the local fraud of the bowls and create some truly grand and regal scam on a national level. Dan Wetzel's blowtorch of truth is applied to the bowl's extortionate ticket policies, and yes, every last band member must be paid for in full with all money due to a non-profit, untaxed organization whose CEOS make like half a mil each. The fun part now: blowing up stupid arguments the BCS will make about neutral sites.

LES MILES TALKING. "Hey, that guy looks big." Les Miles' West Coast talent strategy is AWESOME. Derek Dooley didn't actually curse in any of that, but you know he wanted to.

HAWAI'I FORBIDS YOUR MISSIONARY POSITION. The coach who will be under public fire for restricting the options of a young student-athlete this week: Norm Chow, who does not want anyone to go to BYU from his lair in Hawai'i. This isn't about spite: It's about recruiting in the islands, which BYU does well enough to piss off the home team.

OH YOU ON THAT NEW BIDNESS. Ohio State's future schedules could use some spice, so why not avenge their 1921 loss to Oberlin? By like five hundred points? That'd be neat.

ETC: BROOKE PANCAKE EXISTS AND IS REAL AND HOLY SHIT BROOKE PANCAKE. Anteater, we're not stopping you from doing anything. This will be us when Florida suffers their first loss by field goal this season. Stephan Bonnar wore an ill-considered t-shirt in Bahrain, and that'll get you bitten by a camel spider every time.