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PEYTON MANNING'S GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT

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Peyton Manning was released by the Indianapolis Colts today in a tearful press conference with Jim Irsay. Manning's accomplishments as a football player are almost too great to summarize with mere numbers, but we'll try: two Super Bowls, one NFL championship, one Super Bowl MVP, eleven Pro Bowls, 399 TDs, and over 54,000 passing yards in his career. That's enough yardage to get to the Sun and back eleven times. (Shut up. It is.)

Peyton may or may not play again. We don't know the answer to that question, but we do know this. He has been a fine citizen of the game of football, and a great example for the youth of our nation. He has been a stellar player not just for the NFL at large, but for the University of Tennessee and the people of his home city of New Orleans. Peyton Manning, if he leaves the game, has left us with indelible moment after indelible moment.

There are many, but this? This may be his finest one.

Best of luck, Peyton, wherever you end up in football and beyond. We hope you are successful. We hope you are happy. We hope you continue to be the paragon of football excellence that you are, and that you remain winless against the Florida Gators. (Because you will be.) (Forever.) (Until your son commits to Tennessee and beats us by a combined score of 300-21 over the course of three years.) (Hiring Tim Tebow to coach our team in 2027 was really, really dumb.)