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MARYLAND'S BUSES RUN DIRECTLY INTO A METAPHOR

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A Maryland athletics department bus drives on an empty highway. The driver yawns. The CB crackles to life.

CB: Terp One, this is Big Howdy. Just want you to keep your eyes open for metaphors.

Driver: Got that, Big Howdy. Clarify, please.

CB: They're big. Can't miss 'em.

Driver: Yeah, I'm just a bit lost here.

CB: Terp One, I can't explain them. You'll know one when you see one.

Driver: They about the size of a wild turkey, would you say?

CB: Could be. Why---

Driver: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIII---

Wild_2520edsall_jpg_medium

GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE DREAM JOB GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE

An impact. A horrendous amount of noise.

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Bus_versus_turkey_2_medium

CB: So you know what they look like now, right?

Driver: Yup. Clear on the subject now.