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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 3/26/2012

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YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS REAL. You knew it was real, but you didn't know it was real until you saw him standing there, saying "I just appreciate the effort" and wearing a red windbreaker you suspect might belong to a real head coach.

Bawb. Footbaw. EHF-fert. Suicide is so overrated, especially if you like seeing weird things, because living longer lets you see things like Big Game Bawb standing in Albuquerque, New Mexico ready to coach a Mountain West team fresh off one of the worst coaching tenures in 21st century college football history. Reality remains undefeated in terms of blowing your mind, and FOOTBAW.

Ps. [footbaw]

IT'S NEVER TOO SOON TO PREVIEW. Bill C. is on his ultramarathon of previewing every D-1 football team, and today's is a sad one because it is Idaho, and things do not look good for the gravel-voiced Robb Akey. He does have Dominique Blackman at quarterback coming in from JUCO, and 6'5" 275 under center could at least provide some hilarity. (In that it is done at all.)

BOUNTY-GATE, NCAA-STYLE. The bounty system at the NCAA level would be bad news in terms of theoretical NCAA punishments, though it's nothing compared to what Roger Goodell can do because we have no king, and frankly want none. Infante's analysis is reasoned and follows the rules, and that is more than the NCAA would do.

NOPE. A BCS game at the JerryDome would be great because in Dallas they have and that other thing the and then there's the so sure let's do it, guys! We can't wait to pay $350 for standing room only seats on the mezzanine.

WE ANTICIPATE GIVING UP NO POINTS. And until Texas' offense comes around, that's a fine strategy, Mr. Diaz. The fun subtext in this article is realizing how one-dimensional Texas' offensive personnel had become under Greg Davis, and Texas fans just had their morning microstroke remembering the last days of the GD era.

HE WILL GIVE YOUR PLAYERS RIPPLING BICEPS. Mickey Marotti, the college football trainer most committed to gigantic guns. (And not Oly lifts, but whatever BICEPS WIN CHAMPIONSHIPS.) (Via.)

IS COLUMBUS REALLY IN THE STATE OF GEORGIA? The debate rages on, especially since it is relevant to the Georgia's recruiting profile under Mark Richt. Bud and MaconDawg look at Richt's overall footprint in the state, one that's changed thanks to impassioned recruiting lotharios like Dabo Swinney and Nick Saban offering the Peach State's talented football children directly out of the womb. (Nick Saban with a baby = only slightly less comfortable than Peggy holding an infant last night.)


ETC: Don't ever telegraph a potential striking point to an opponent, even if it is flattering. El Papa, muy festivo! Tim Tebow is no fun to write about, something we disagree with as long as stupid people get really excited about him. [<---kicks hornets' nest, savors buzz.] Tebow will also heal you with his magic hands, and Bryan Dawkins handled this far differently than we would have. ("Stop touching me wait OOH YOUR HANDS ARE WARM and I'm so confused now---") Krystal is now Atlantan, and your greasy things all belong to us now. Tim Duncan, OLD.