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Matthew Stockman

BUT IT COULD STILL HAPPEN. Every year. Every freaking year.

HOOTIN' DALE MABRY BOULEVARD.The Houston Nutt to USF movement is real, and it is already spectacular. Be honest: as horrendous as the Houston Nutt Gravitron ride can be, his worst years would be better than Holtz's best at USF. (Plus, seriously: his teams play their asses off at least every other game. Like, at LEAST half the time.) He will also offer shelter to all your partial qualifiers. How many partial qualifiers? ALL OF THE PARTIAL QUALIFIERS.

MARK RICHT HAS REGAINED CONTROL OF MARK RICHT. Chuck Oliver, the local talk radio host who asked Mark Richt about losing big games immediately after losing a big game, has apologized for his remarks. Now residents of Georgia can focus on the important things in public life. <---T.I.'s impending run for governor, for instance.

BUTCH JONES IS NOT STUPID. Evidence: he will not be going to Purdue. Google probably helped that.

BOOOOOOOM. Two VT players were arrested after setting off a bomb near their apartment, and somewhere Dan Kendra smiles knowingly. When asked about it, offensive coordinator Brian Stinespring mumbled, shoved two pieces of asparagus up his nose, and said "WHAT WOULD I KNOW ABOUT EXPLOSIVE PLAYS I CAN'T WORK A MICROWAVE OR ZONE READ."

JOHNNY MANZIEL IS ENJOYING HIS LIFE. And will be for quite some time.

AGREED. Ohio State probably should have been playing in the Big Ten Championship, especially because its ratings were lackluster and could have used the Eleven Warriors bump badly. That being a Vice article, it does end with Jim Tressel snorting hallucinogenic root powder with the Yanamamo. (And then having his location leaked via metadata.)

THIS MAN IS VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL. A naked man in Shreveport is nothing to laugh about, because he's probably at least 250 pounds of American glory. Another thing not to laugh at: the fiasco surrounding La Tech and their disappearance from the bowl schedule.

THE DAMN STUBBORN IRISH. Greg Jordan takes the Irish for what they are:stubborn, thorny, and completely unwilling to let the outside world matter.

ETC: Katt Williams seems to be making good decisions.