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35 FOR 35: THE SHERATON HAWAI'I BOWL

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OUR FAVORITE PART OF HAWAI'I IS KANYE

Hawaii_medium

Hawai'i! Our most American state because we stole it, our most American mascots because they're a bulldog from Fresno and a horse that's got a history of corruption convictions, and our most American announcer in Carter Blackburn because he sounds like a law firm: HOW COULD ONE RESIST? Besides the whole "need to interact with family" thing, and the holiday, but that's all tragically overrated and trumped by the very real possibility of June Jones eating something he left under the bench in Hawai'i five years ago.

June Jones has never wasted a sandwich in his life.

You may enjoy the festivities in the embedded player below, or download the whole thing here.