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10. 2nd Quarter, 11:17 - Adam Dingwell throws a fifteen yard out to Ezell Ruffin, who drops the ball and throws his shoe at it. "I thought it was a really big cockroach," says Ruffin.
9. 1st Quarter, 8:03 - James Lark is sacked for a loss of six yards, but in his mind, he's just thrown his fourth touchdown to become the first Super Bowl winner on Mars. The Martian people carry him off the field and install him as emperor, where he spends his days eating Mars steaks and playing Mars Dreamcast.
8. 2nd Quarter, 5:44 - Bronco Mendenhall calls a timeout.
7. 4th Quarter, 6:15 - Aztec guard Nik Embernate demands to be given a snap at quarterback. Under pressure, he throws the ball onto the roof of the neighbor's house. This will be the best passing down San Diego State has in this quarter.
6. 3rd Quarter, 10:28 - On third and ten, Riley Nelson is flushed from the pocket and takes off running. As he reaches the first down marker, he remembers to tithe and places the ball a yard behind him.
5. 2nd Quarter, 0:17 - San Diego State punter Seamus McMorrow shoots a rubber band off his finger that hits Rocky Long right in the ear from, like, 30 feet away. It's totally awesome, especially when Long blames a grad assistant.
4. 1st Quarter, 3:30 - Adam Muema is stopped for a short loss on second and two. He immediately pops up and makes the first down signal. Confused, the referees comply and move the chains.
3. 1st Quarter, 12:31 - Dingwell throws an interception to Ezekiel Ansah. This was the right decision, however, as Dingwell threw this pass after checking off of two other interceptions, each of which would have gone for greater return yardage.
2. 4th Quarter, 12:15 - Kyle Van Noy shape-shifts into the form of running back Jamaal Williams and runs 14 yards for the only offensive touchdown of the game. He then shifts, in succession, into a minotaur, a box of Club crackers, and Linda Ronstadt, much to the chagrin of his position coach, Professor Charles Xavier.
1. 2nd Quarter, 6:18 - In an amazing display of veteran savvy, Riley Nelson throws the rock-that-turns-into-scissors at the last second, defeating Bronco Mendenhall's paper and earning him playing time. "That's just hours of film paying off," Nelson will later say to an empty plastic bag.