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SIMPLY HEARTBREAKING. We hadn't had time to watch the Army/Navy replay, but to lose the game like this is truly heartbreaking for the hard-luck Black Knights team.

It's tough, but the respect the teams show for each other has to dull some of the pain of losing like that.

DADDY WILL BE RIGHT BACK, JUST GETTING SOME CIGARETTES. The appeal of Chilighetti has greater powers than one previously imagined, since Tommy Tuberville allegedly ditched a recruiting dinner in media res and, hopping into that V-8 powered pine box he calls a car, drove to the airport to take the Bearcats job. Never, ever underestimate the slick game of Tommy Tuberville. He coached for a decade at Auburn. A man capable of surviving those circumstances for so long is a formidable strategist by any measure, and will get his shitty chilighetti come hell or high water.

BRYAN HARSIN WILL TAKE OVER THE TREE STAND. Arkansas State has taken Mack Brown's fifth or sixth heir to the throne, so Texas will promote Major Applewhite to co-offensive coordinator in the meantime along with Darrell Wyatt. Someday, Major Applewhite will have like, an entire offense to control, and not half. Someday!

DA UUUUUUUUUU. It's minor, but along with Oregon State gettin' rowdy (all fired up on the animal style burger business) the U's Thomas Finnie taking the Cam Newton laptop discount is one of the first two scores in the Fulmer Cup's preseason.

OHH, PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO TELL US HOW A SEMI-RURAL PRIVATE COLLEGE REALLY IS DIFFERENT? And yes, write an entire article about it without mentioning any of the bad? Yes, yes, we'll be right back, no really, we'll be right there---

ETC: Bomberman rendered realistically is so much more disturbing than we want it to be. We're not prepared for serious academic discussion of License to Chill, AV Club. Always, always listen to the drunk guy.