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OPEN THREAD: LET'S TALK BUSINESS

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BECAUSE BUSINESS IS WHERE THE MONEY IS.

Wait. Our ONLY late game is South Alabama at Hawaii? Besides the hilarious culture shock possibilities, what the hell? Is that even televised? We're not going to seriously discuss this game. We're not even going to non-seriously discuss it.

Instead, let's share our best BUSINESS ideas. I'll go first. The exit row on an airplane is, ostensibly, supposed to be an important emergency tool. Of course, the airlines don't really believe that's true, which is why the requirements to sit in the exit row are so embarrassingly low. You have to 1) be at least 15 years old and 2) be able to say "yes" when you're asked if you can handle the job. THAT'S ALL.

So maybe the exit row won't actually save us in most air disasters. That doesn't mean I'm ok with some grandma who couldn't even put her bag in the overhead compartment being responsible for yanking that door open if we need her to. And so this is what I propose:

In the boarding area, we set up a mock exit row and a large, Double Dare style clock. Anyone who wants to sit in the exit row can take their turn running through a drill - when the horn blows, unbuckle your seat belt, unlock the exit door, and open it. The six (or four, or twelve, or whatever depending on the plane) fastest times get to sit in the exit row. And you also get bragging rights. You think flight attendants won't flirt with a sub three second champion? Damn right they will.

This is your late shift thread, which has already gotten weird. Go nuts, kids.