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ALPHABETICAL: BONUS LETTERS

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THE ALPHABETICAL IS UP, AND KAWANN SHORT GOES TO PURDUE

Matthew Emmons-US PRESSWIRE

THE ALPHABETICAL IS UP OMG IT'S UP.

Alpha. Everyone and their grandmother (who is very good at breaking down game tape) has done the last series of Alabama/LSU, but we wanted to focus on the defense because watching it really made us feel a.) bad for LSU, since they were just doing their thing, and Alabama's thing happened to be better, and b.) because at the time, we had watched it and thought they had gone soft-ish, as well.

Beta. Kawann Short of PURDUE, not Texas. We had them mashed up in a single note, and have since corrected it.

Gamma. Chizik using a private security firm to conduct curfew checks confirms our belief that he's the SEC's most likely suspect for being a dictator in a former life. Not a really good one, but one of those boring, mediocre, and cruel functionaries of a South American junta, or Auburn football. Same thing.

Delta. In a random television note: Samantha Steele has been perfectly pleasant this season, and the only complaint we've seen has come from a few women who said "girl got some jacked-up extensions." Being a man we don't notice this, but we do know that she gave Nick Saban a birthday cake and didn't get dropped through the trap door Saban has rigged under every chair in his office. She must be doing a fine job.