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Cooper Neill

BILLABONG THROWBABY 8-BIT. If even a shred of this was inspired by Shutdown Fullback, we feel like we've done what we wanted to accomplish not only with the show, but in life in general.

The SEC's video departments shall not be outdone, outrivalled, nor outspent.

CASE MCCOY RAN, AND THAT WAS THE MOST TERRIFYING PART OF ALL. TCU used the best defense available last night: the Texas offense, which spat up four turnovers and allowed the Horned Frogs to run the ball, clock, and the Longhorns' night into a ditch full of very expensive and toxic agricultural runoff. Texas has now lost to both new Big 12 members in their first year in the conference. Mack Brown makes a billion dollars a year, literally.

HATE IS QUANTIFIABLE. The college football staff stacked up every possible ranking we could to quantify matchups of Hate Week, and perhaps tweaked a few to imply that some of the fanbases involved are actually the same people in different clothing.

COACHING DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A FUN PROFESSION. Jeff Tedford's final days at Cal sound like those of a man burnt down to a charred cinder of his former self. His legacy as Cal head coach, even with the last two dismal years of his stay in Strawberry Canyon, is an impressive one. (Impressive at Cal involves "winning football games." )

OTHER THANKSGIVING-DELAYED NEWS. Oh, the playoff thing, which is only worth $470 million a year to ESPN.

THIS IS REALLY WHAT A SUN BELT TEAM MIGHT DO. Those endless hours playing NCAA might just land you a coaching job in America's Azerbaijan. So, that would be the Arkansas State job, and it's all yours if you share your XBox Live profile with them.

SPEEEEEEEEEED. Tony Franklin's Louisiana Tech attack is the result of economy and speed, or in other words what someone like Rob Ryan in the NFL would call "college crap."

ETC: Eeeeee-ceeeeee-dub! Eeeeee-ceeeeee-dub! Eeeeee-ceeeeee-dub! This is advertising at its finest, and includes Dikembe Mutombo dodging strip malls clogging the very heart of America. This is the greatest football play of our time.