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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/19/2012

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You're number one in our BCS computer, readers, which means you'll probably lose next weekend.

Rob Carr

UNCLE LUKE IS NOT GONNA BE HAPPY. Miami's self-flagellation continues as the Hurricanes impose a second consecutive bowl ban on themselves, meaning Georgia Tech is now locked into the ACC Championship game. Is there a famous rapper associated with Georgia Tech? It's Chingy, isn't it?

WE ALL KNOW WHAT THE SALTY MOVE IS HERE. Vote NO on Proposition B1G, Maryland regents. Announce that you did not want to move to a conference of "questionable academic and moral value" and watch every capillary in Jim Delany's eyeballs burst.

WELL, THEN. There are letters of resignation, and then there's A.J. Barker firebombing Jerry Kill and the Minnesota staff. You should probably stake out an extreme position on this and refuse to budge either way. I have dibs on "players shouldn't be allowed to use the Internet because VIRUSES."

BILL C. PROVIDES YOU WITH MEANING IN CHAOS. Imagine how crazy shit will get next week when Auburn upsets Alabama! (serious face) (it could happen) (i believe in dragons)

AND I WILL HUG HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND NAME HIM GEORGE. Pretty sure this video has not been altered in any way, you guys.

OH LOOK FLORIDA COULD PLAY FOR THE NATIONAL TITLE. The computers love the Gators, because computers are not people and therefore have never been mugged at Busch Gardens. Let's hope it's somehow against Notre Dame, because then we can say Charlie Weis really was the architect of all that is success.

ETC. You idiot - use coconut oil, as it has a more pleasant crotch aroma. Do you want ants, Oregon? Because that's how you get ants. FLY ROBIN FLY. Colorado State stands ready to defeat you, Nick SabOWOWOW OK STOP IT THAT HURTS A LOT.