SECOND SHIFT: THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T MAKE PREDICTIONS

Anyone who thinks Penn State will have a winning record this season is crazy. There is zero chance. Zero.

— Kyle Rowland (@KyleRowland) August 20, 2012

Prognosticating is a tricky thing, because there are all sorts of variables you can't possibly account for, like "Matt McGloin will actually learn how to play quarterback." Even the sure bets can go awry. Yeah, you predicted Colorado would be awful, but did you see them being accidentally-call-a-sneak-because-you-don't-know-what-down-it-is-awful? Don't think Jon Embree won't send his punter out there with a nine iron. KEEP THE OPPONENT GUESSING. (For these purposes, doctors are also opponents, which is why Jon Embree lies about his medical history. We assure you, he never had "asparagus foot.")

This is your second open thread. Steve Addazio has as many wins this year as Kirk Ferentz, but we called that. They're secret twins, after all.