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FIRST SHIFT: LEE CORSO, KING OF THE FOOD CHAIN

Animals are his friends, until he kills them and swallows them whole

By Ryan Nanni

GameDay has quietly turned into an ongoing nature show where Lee Corso tames animals with his bare hands. Baby gators and ducks and goats are fine, I guess, but this isn't a petting zoo. THE FOLLOWING GAUNTLETS ARE THROWN, CORSO:

- Slay an actual dragon at UAB. We will also accept slaying five Birmingham dudes in a Lunar New Year dragon costume.

- Teach Gus the Gorilla at Pittsburg State to read. Then make him read his own death sentence before you sword fight him.

- Joust Knightro.

- Shoot Pistol Pete at a card table.

- Climb the Stanford Tree. Build a home at the top, declare yourself an independent state.

- Gladiatorial combat with Ed Orgeron. BONUS: throw a spear at anyone who points out that Trojans were Greek, not Roman.

This is your first open thread. Do not take Lee Corso to the aquarium. All the Dippin' Dots in the world won't ease his tears when you tell him he can't cuddle a moray eel.