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Rob Carr

KIDS AT HOME, PAY ATTENTION, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU HAVE A VERY LONG CAREER. We've tweeted this out twice already, but you really can't share something enough when it still reduces you to teary laughter on the fifth viewing.

He's a pro.

THE BIG EAST MOVES FURTHER TOWARDS INCOHERENCE. In the new Big East division lineups, Temple will be in the West, and Louisville will be in the East because someone has to get screwed, and the team in college football is usually the Temple Owls. The rest, to be fair, makes as much sense as the Big East ever will.

WHY YES, HE DID. The winning TD in overtime in the Mizzou/Tennessee game was, in fact, drawn up on Dorial Green-Beckham's hand.

ARE YOU READY? The Ole Miss Marine will only ask once.

CODE EO. Will Muschamp's wife reveals that Muschamp's family has a code for his sideline tantrums: "E.O.s", short for "emotional outbursts." Also, she is disproportionately attractive compared to Will. If only science could invent an astonishing football-based term for this phenomenon, and then--someday, far in the future--create a website where men could creepily brag about this, and then point their dicks online. If only.

MAKE A PRAGMATIC AND REALISTIC "U" GESTURE. State of the U has a fantastic summary of where the program is, and why everything before 2003 should be forgotten when discussing the current program. The comparison of Randy Shannon to Bill Stewart is painfully accurate, especially because we're sad for both of them for entirely different reasons. (Shannon because he's a good DC and a Miami lifer who just couldn't develop players, and Stewart because, um, he's dead.)

GET AWAY FROM THEM, HARVEY. The best part about Alabama jokes is that they all really happened. Give it time, though: Aggies are saddling right up to the SEC racially-tinged insanity bar, and drinking deep already.

PLEASE DO NOT PURCHASE THIS. It's all ours, and will be worn with a pair of giant green Cross Colours pants and fifteen pairs of colorful boxers.

BAND WAS NOTHING LIKE THIS AT FLORIDA. The hazing scandal at FAMU, broken down in excruciating detail.

ETC: Bourdain MAD. Steve Young's expression here validates our estimation of him as a quality human being. Mario Balotelli is a genius. Black Ops 2 is a brilliant mess.