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SECOND SHIFT: MATT ELAM IS JURASSIC PARK

Bear with us. This isn't just another excuse to talk about Jurassic Park (yes it is).

By Ryan Nanni

Jurassic Park was designed to be a place of controlled terror, where visitors could come face to face with some of the most terrifying predators in Nature's history and walk away unscathed. Every precaution and redundancy was installed to prevent widespread dinosaur disaster, but they were quickly undone by the work of a fat man who showed disdain for pie. (A REMINDER: Don't trust people who don't eat pie.)

Matt Elam is a velociraptor, and he has learned how to open sidelines.

Very-late-hit_medium

via gif.mocksession.com

The difference, of course, is that Matt Elam can not change his sex for breeding purposes. YET.

This is your second open thread. Hold on to your butts.