THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/3/2012

ALL HAIL FREEK. Freek, aka Terrance Donnels of New Orleans, Louisiana, got the longform profile at Yahoo by Les Carpenter. It is not what you expect, except for the part where you find out he made an Etch-A-Sketch portrait for Jeff Blauser once. Now that you have read this it makes perfect sense, yes? Yes, yes it does.

That is a nice spot, Paul. Just a real fine spot you made there.

TEXAS TO RUN THE BALL A LOT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. With Malcolm Brown out for the West Virginia game, Texas will just run Joe Bergeron a thousand times because there is no way Texas won't try to slow the hell down and take this game to the ground.

ACKBARLOM! The best literary cover band in college football takes on Faulkner. Oh, the adjectives.

DANA HOLGORSEN IS A DEVIOUS AND EVIL PERSON. DJ Dana just keeps some evil things under his skulleted lid, like using the classic post-wheel route combo in play-action coordination with the Bob Stitt/Colorado School Of Mines "Fly" run. It's evil in any context, but especially when you're pitiless enough to run it against the Baylor defense.

WAIT, WE...LIKE? OFFENSE? Brent Pease likes points, and that's just, like, so weird, man.

AND NOW, JIM TRESSEL SHOWS YOU THE PUPPY OF THE DAY. The television career of Jim Tressel begins with a short segment, and ends with Jim Tressel becoming the first coach ever to successfully transition to being the host of a daily television show. Then he becomes a Senator. All of this is actually happening, and there is nothing one can do to stop it.

IMPORTANT PUPPET/PLUSH CHARACTER NEWS. The House Rock Built returns after almost a month of tense negotiations, while the Duck is clearly big-timing Sparky here.

YOU'LL PROBABLY WIN THAT RACE BUT LOSE IN THE END, IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN. You can't spell "Lolo" without "LOL."

ETC: RAAAAAMPAAAAAGE! Ron Rivera isn't dumb in the way you expect him to be, but merely in the way everyone else in life is. Quantum Leap was savage.