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SECOND SHIFT: LIKE A PHOENIX, HE RISES

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There is hope, loyal Auburn fans.

There is no longer offense - there is only CLAWFENSE.

This team will stop being awful - it will be CLAWFUL.

Our beer of choice? STELLA ARCLAW. What we do to occupy ourselves on rainy evenings? JIGCLAW PUZZLES. Who did Karl Marx urge the proletariat to rise up against? THE BOURGECLAWSIE.

This is CLAWBURN FOOTBALL. CLAWL IN.

(This is also your second open thread. Have you failed to beat an SEC team this year? Don't worry, Gene Chizik can't say shit to you.)