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Rob Christy-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

DAMMIT. It could have been so beautiful, Mike Slive.


IT'S NICE TO HAVE INTACT BODIES. Remember when everyone was injured after playing Alabama, because playing Alabama is like going through a car wash full of hammers and acid sprays? That was fun, and a sitiuation that will not be repeated this year when Florida plays LSU.

FOR JUST 90 CENTS A MONTH YOU CAN FEED THIS DUCK. Puddles and Larry Scott don't ask for much. Did you know ESPN charges subscribers $56.00 a month for their channel? They don't, but let's see if that rumor picks up anyway among angry non-sports people.

LEAVE THE PLANE HERE WE GOTTA MAKE THE KICK. This is actually the second time we can remember fans crashing a plane and still making the game. The first is mentioned in Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer in the case of a Florida fan who crashed his plane into trees, and yet still made kickoff in Starkville. In time to watch Florida lose. Life shore is funny like that sometimes.

NO. That's the answer to WVU's chances at a national title probably because of the defense, and because West Virginia will have to roll through the entire Big 12 without losing a tennis match on turf once. If any conference is happy to run with the devil like that it's the Big 12. The real joy will be watching them face someone in a bowl game after a month's prep, something Clemson can speak about once you pull them off the floor where they have collapsed after hearing the name "Dana Holgorsen." These feel like obvious things to say, but not everyone is a disciple in the Church of Air Raid (Sect: Mesh-thodists.)

RELEVANT TO THIS POINT. You play touchdown chicken, sometimes you lose touchdown chicken.

BCS ELIMINATOR SAYS THINGS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED. The Big Ten and the ACC are all but out of the title game save for Florida State, but you already knew that because the most consistent team in the Big Ten has been Northwestern, and because the ACC is the ACC.

LUBBOCK? NASTY? NOOOOOO. The Oklahoma mascot hanging their head down makes the photo sublime.

ETC: Still got it, y'all! Get it while you can, girl. Right about now you should listen to this in a cubicle and start shooting staples at your co-workers. They'll love it! Toro Y Moi reps South Carolina hard.