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WE'RE SURE THE OTHER TWO KIDS ARE D-1 PROSPECTS, TOO. Dontez Ford, Syracuse recruit, is unafraid. Unafraid of the violence of football. Unafraid of the future. And most importantly, unafraid of the mysteries of calculus.

We're sure there's videos just like this of SEC recruits talking know, things other than calculus. SHUT UP WE'RE FAST, OKAY? REALLY REALLY FAST.

CUE CARNIVAL MUSIC (AGAIN.) We're so far through the looking glass with conference expansion that the Big 12 possibly moving to 11 or 12 teams despite the conference being named the "Big 12" is news, and not just an expectation because yeah, dumbasses, your conference should by all rights have 12 teams. Though members are "happy" with ten members (they always are,) future expansion candidates could include Louisville and BYU. The first would be eager to abandon the perpetually smoldering coal slag fire town that is the Big East, and the latter just wants a safe place to land where it can throw the ball, maul people with Polynesian defensive tackles, and maybe harvest some souls. (BYU FOOTBALL: WE WANT YOUR SOULS. NO REALLY WE DO, BUT ONLY IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE, REALLY.)

TCU remains pretty officially happy about the whole thing, though. (Via.)

WELCOME, ADMIRAL. The Big East did get cooler for having to refer to someone in conference as an Admiral, but we'll let Holly explain all of that with a fine and utterly clear graphic.

LOL GEORGIA. All too happy to point and laugh at our state of residence's inability to govern itself coming into direct conflict with football.

AU REVOIR, NEW MEXICO BOWL. If there is general support to limit the field of bowl teams by reupping the win total to seven wins instead of six, then the sum total of bowls that could evaporate under the new system is somewhere between five and twelve bowls. This is delightful news if you like harumphing about the value of a system almost everyone realizes is just a vast series of exhibitions run by the burgers of America's unremarkable midsized towns in cahoots with thieving university presidents, and bad news if you, like us, enjoy watching games on December 19th no matter how silly they may be.

DEREK DOOLEY BRINGS SOME SUNSHINE. If you do not remember the recruit who stole shit out of the Georgia locker room on a recruiting visit, he has taken his rightful place in Knoxville. It wasn't theft, but more a declaration of purpose, you see.

A REMINDER. Zak Kustok was one of the most important quarterbacks in college football history. No, really, he was.

INDIANAPOLIS IS GOING TO GET EVERYTHING IT DESERVES. Though having a Super Bowl in Indy is a better idea than it sounds when you think of all the delicious local treats you can get there.