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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 1/10/2012

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OH GOD WHY--

If you are going to give Alabama the ducats due for being an outstanding defense, please remember in football all numbers are a group effort, and that in this production Jordan Jefferson deserves at least an associate producer's credit in last night's incineration of 13 games of quality Les Miles career credit. Then again, Miles did always like The Most Dangerous Game, so it's only fitting that he trusted spit-washing, struggleface-making Jefferson with the ball in the biggest game of his life.

FOR FORMALITY'S SAKE. Yes, Alabama is number one. Congratulations on your 392rd national championship, Alabama. Only Courtney Upshaw's TOUCH THAT, FOO' brings any levity to this murder scene of a game.

BUT WAIT NO NO WAIT. Jefferson thinks he made "great decisions" with the ball. Jordan Jefferson had a lifetime record of 2-1 against Florida, and everything is so magical, y'all.

(The Most Dangerous Game for Miles, by the way, is Mousetrap played with live mice and pipe-cracking M-80s.)

OH MY GOD JUST A SHITLOAD OF LINKS. Bill's numbers for the game are just...they're worse than you think, actually. Sharp did not have a real good time, but no one with striking distance of the Les-bomb did. Bobby Hebert did Bobby Hebert things. Holly's awards were much more cheerful than they would have been last year, but as we saw an Ole Miss fan say to break up a fight between LSU and Bama fans last night, "We can all agree on hating Auburn, right?" Les Miles' playbook was uggghhhh yeah this, or if you're more animatedly inclined, this.

Wright Thompson wrote about Edwin Edwards. And The Valley Shook uses the term you want to use, "damned waste of time."

BUT HEY A PLUS ONE WOULD BE A NICE CONSOLATION. We will believe it when Jim Delany finally pulls that redwood-sized stick out of his ass, but this would be a nice bit of consolation for a shittastic ending to the season.


via i.imgur.com