Leebron, you ready for this?
Yo Del Conte let's kick it
All right stop congregate and listen
Rice is back with amorous intentions
Beebe needs to move quickly and rightly
A&M’s out and four others soon might be
What can make it stop? A tenth team.
Notre Dame Irish? A pipe dream.
SMU is forever ruined by scandal
Houston’s academics simply don’t hold a candle
Only one school fits, it’s easy to see
So I preach to the beats of the M-O-B
Engineering wins since Nineteen-twelve
Four Cotton Bowl trophies on the shelf
Ain’t got many girls but we are so smart
We can build sex robots that will steal your heart
Difficult math problem? Yo we'll solve it
Ten minus one plus us resolves it
Rice Rice maybe?
Vanilla Rice Rice maybe?
Just chill with Rice Rice, Beebe?
Big 12 needs Rice Rice baby!
Now that A&M is jumping
Larry Scott and Bob Stoops are already dry humping
Baylor says they might sue but we know they faking
Okie State and Red Raiders are ripe for the taking
Kansas schools are Big 12 dependent
Got so much TV money but they already spent it
Iowa State’s in the storm with nowhere to go
Texas thinking 'bout time to go solo
But Rice got a 4.0
Learnin’ all kinds of shit Ken Jennings don’t know
The girlies at the Wash 'n Dry don’t even say hi
Do we care? Naw, go home, watch Firefly
Without us you’ll be fucked like Clemson
Like those hookers when Craig James (allegedly) pulled an OJ Simpson
12-3 = Purdue
So come to Houston and continue to University Avenue
We’ll be the ones at the hadron collider
Blowing shit up like an atom divider
Jealous Houston Cougars can’t even spell quark
Stayed up all last night trolling them on Fark.
So our quarterback is four feet tall?
But we got shit in our chem lab fuck you up like Eight Ball
Plenty of seats for our football guests
Students don’t show, they cramming for Diff EQ tests
So what if we suck at the game?
It’s a free conference win, turn that down, you’re insane
Don’t give two hoots about stealing your recruits
Cause top grades and test scores are admission absolutes
Don’t leave the Owls in the dark
Let’s start this Odyssey like Arthur C. Clarke
The Aggies caused this problem but yo we'll solve it
Ten minus one plus us resolves it
Rice Rice maybe?
Vanilla Rice Rice maybe (hoot-hoot)?
Just chill with Rice Rice, Beebe?
Big 12 needs Rice Rice baby!
Rice Rice baby (too cold)
Negative 273 Celsius up in here.
Rice Rice baby (too cold)
Word to your mother
Rice Rice baby (too cold)
QED, bitches.
