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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 9/29/2011

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WE TRIPPY. It is not "All the Way Turnt Up," and according to commenters cannot be heard over the speakers at Bobby Dodd, but if Tech switching out anthems for 2011 gives us anything, it gives us the material for a truly useful gif for later use. 

The song's crunktivity is lacking, but the theme is apropos since Georgia Tech's offense has been capable of inducing hallucinations like "Oh god, are they really going to get the opportunity to run for 700 yards versus an injury-battered NC State team this weekend?" (That is no hallucination, and may be exactly what they do.) Bill also hops on that other fine hallucination we keep having with Georgia Tech, the mirage of them actually having a passing game of sorts. SPOILER: It's not a mirage.

WE ZIPPY. Trent Richardson raced Jeff Demps in the 100m in high school, and it ended with Demps beating Richardson by a huge margin, and if you have ever seen Trent Richardson bring hell down the sideline this is an awe-inspiring detail indeed. Charlie Weis reiterated that "the whole kitchen sink" is on the menu for Alabama's defense on Saturday, and this assuredly means that the underthrown flea-flicker is getting called at least twice. (If you hear a snapping sound when a ball is thrown more than ten yards down the field against the Alabama defense, it is a large blood vessel in our brain exploding.)

WE SNIPPY. Will Muschamp is tired of these Saban mentor/mentee relationships, and just wants to get in his truck and drive away from them. In other snippy coaches, Doug Marrone is either angry with reporters here, or is suffering contraindications from mixing prescription medications and is having a quiet seizure.

THURSDAY NIGHTS ARE BEEF NIGHT. Or where Bulls have been served a la tartare, since USF is 0-6 on Thursday night games televised on ESPN. For added bitterness, Craig James will be calling the game, and they'll be playing a rematch of the 2008 C-USA Championship game. Everything about this game screams clusterfuck: Big East football, a Thursday night in one of the least compelling environments in BCS football, and Tino Sunseri and BJ Daniels, your starting quarterbacks for the evening. Naturally, this all equals immense entertainment potential so long as you are not a fan of either team. Their torture is your entertainment tonight.

MIKE LOCKSLEY WOULD HAVE FIRED MIKE LOCKSLEY, TOO. At least he's honest about it.

LSU GETS MONEY. Both at home, and of course on the road.

BRANDON WEEDEN LIFE LESSONS. Never drive a scooter at night on Stillwater backroads without a faceguard. Meanwhile, his coach is all too happy to teach you how to Gundy.

THE THEME OF AMBITION BEING OVERRATED IS A CONSTANT. In another chapter of "stop trying to football so hard," Hinton fact-checks Tom Fornelli's assertion that Michael Floyd's numbers increase when Notre Dame's winning percentage goes down.

TIGERDROPPINGS IS THE MOST AMAZING MESSAGE BOARD ON THE PLANET. Their thread on Les Miles as professional wrestlers is astonishing, especially the Koko B. Ware 'shop.