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LATE NIGHT OPEN THREAD, WHERE YOU CAN BE THE LITTLE SPOON TONIGHT

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This is not a replica of the newspaper the day after Kentucky last beat Florida, because when Kentucky last beat Florida, newspapers were not a thing. (Rich Brooks still prefers to get his news from a town crier.)

Welcome to The Velveteen Open Thread - let's all have a glass of port and enjoy some sultry West Coast action. Do you want the mustache on or off? Off? Too bad.