YOU CATCH MORE FLIES WITH MONEY

West Virginia will be offering amnesty in the form of dollars for "West Fuckin' Virginia" t-shirts brought into the West Virginia Campus bookstore, a savvy move by the administration in battling the sublime but unphotogenic t-shirts. One t-shirt will get you twenty dollars worth of bookstore merchandise. For maximum irony, we suggest the following:

• use for purchase of one white WVU t-shirt on clearance and large sharpie marker.
• Write "Fuckin'" in between "West" and "Virginia"
  
• Exit bookstore
• Re-enter bookstore
• Attempt to do this as many times as possible, exchanging the shirt for a new shirt each time.
• Use the same sharpie, though. (Think of the environment, plz.)
  

Officials are also fighting another Morgantown tradition by forcing residents to clear potentially flammable items from their porches, fining residents for lack of compliance and attempting to head off Morgantown's most notorious gameday celebration: arson.  Stiff fines and possible criminal charges should have an effect, but oh god we love America sometimes:

"Even if they do put stuff inside, people are crazy," he said. "They're going to bring them out anyway."

COPPERHEAD ROAD, Y'ALL. We will be at this game, and have one crowdsourcing request: we would like to review actual West Virginia shine. Leave information in the comments below, and we will happily blind ourselves with whatever you ply us with in the blue lot before the game. NO ACTUAL KEROSENE. We know what that tastes like from personal experience, and THANKS A LOT BOY SCOUTS.