College football's sweet embrace is here to making us feel whole again. With kickoff but an hour away, it's time to take in the beginning of the young season while also filling your other physical nourishment requirements. We're of course talking about gourmet delectables. Peruse today's menu and remember, choose wisely.
Murray State at Louisville, 6:00 PM (ET) - ESPNU(HD)
Appetizer: Charlie Strong thinks you need to trim up a little bit.
Entree: Eggs sunny side up, grilled on the engine of a 1960's sports car.
140ish Characters: Pat Forde thinks this is an upset. Pat Forde doesn't know that in order to get to Louisville, they're going to have to go through this:
GAME OVER.
Mississippi State at Memphis, 7:00 PM (ET) - FSN(HD)
Appetizer: Ten egg egg soufflé. Oh what's that maitre d? Oh, right. Sorry. We just used our last ten. Apologies from the kitchen.
Entree: Charbroiled ribs. Extra well done.
Give Dan Mullen six weeks with even Valodsta State's personnel and poor Larry Porter would be in over his head. Chris Relf and co.? Woah boy.
UNLV at Wisconsin, 7:00 PM (ET) - ESPN(HD)/ESPN3
Entree: A hooker's stiletto suffocated in cheese, and sprinkled with diced casino chips. Truly a delicacy on the strip. And lord knows Wisconsinites love to make their visiting brethren feel welcome.
Bobby Hauck could potentially miss Omar Clayton. Re-read that last sentence again. Bret Bielema and already named captain Russell Wilson are betting on red. Over and over and over and over.
North Texas at Florida International, 6:00 PM (ET) - ESPN3
Appetizer: Mario's Fried Conch and Shrimp Christo-balls.
Entree: This is the Sun Belt. There is no money for entrees.
First year head coach Dan McCarney takes the young Mean Green into the belly of the defending Sun Belt champions, Mario Cristobal's Florida International Golden Panthers. Transfer wide receiver James Louis ensures FIU has the proper mind state for game week:
Wake Forest at Syracuse, 7:00 p.m. (ET), ESPN3
Entree: Sbarro's Pizza covered in mustard. You assholes will put mustard on anything, won't you?
Remember that one time Jim Grobe actually had a good team? Just kidding. That never actually happened. You were real into hard drugs that Fall. Doug Marrone and the Orange look to build on the momentum of last year's 8-5 2010. Delonte Carter is gone, but Ryan Nassib probably has help. Ostensibly.
UC-Davis at Arizona State, 9:00 p.m. (ET) - Fox Sports Arizona
Appetizer: GIMME YOUR FOOD DOG GOTTA EAT
Entree: DOG GOTTA EAT SOME MORE
This game is only on this list because Vontaze Burfict is playing against people who have to block him, and those people are going to diiiiieeeeeee.