If we were South Carolina fans, we'd be setting our heads on fire with napalm conditioner right now at the prospect of an SI cover. Alshon Jeffrey doesn't look fat in person, we swear, but he might be the offensive version of Charles Woodson in that he's capable of both carrying all of his weight on his abdomen while outjumping his opponents by six inches. (He's like an adorable Pokemon like that.) Goddamn, Trent Richardson. In theory, if you clone Trent Richardson, and then have him face off in a leg press against another Trent Richardson, does the world explode from a fusion reaction?