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SEC MEDIA DAYS: WILL MUSCHAMP HAS NEVER BEEN TO THE FOLLOWING PLACES

By Spencer Hall
GAINESVILLE, FL - APRIL 9: Coach Will Muschamp of the Florida Gators takes the field before the Orange and Blue spring football game April 9, 2010 Ben Hill Griffin Stadium in Gainesville, Florida. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
GAINESVILLE, FL - APRIL 9: Coach Will Muschamp of the Florida Gators takes the field before the Orange and Blue spring football game April 9, 2010 Ben Hill Griffin Stadium in Gainesville, Florida. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
Getty Images

I ain't never been to Italy.* I ain't never been to France. Never going either, if what I hear about their doin's is accurate. I've never been to Pensacola. Weird, I know, but it just worked out that way. Never been to Loserville, and I'm not going anytime soon, either, I'll tell you that brother. My dad told me never to go to Ciudad Juarez, but I went anyway. I saw a man living inside of a live donkey's stomach. Had a little door on it with a welcome mat he threw next to the donkey. That's how I learned "Bienvenidos" means welcome, and that my father was right about never going to Ciudad Juarez. You should always listen to daddy.

Never been to Cleveland. Never been to Ankara, Turkey, but I've heard it's in Turkey, and I'm not going to a country that confuses itself with poultry. Never

*This is the only part of this that Will Muschamp said. This related to Jeff Demps, who he has not talked to about rejoining the team after track season, but who he expects to be on the team come August. Muschamp also breathed exactly four times, nearly killed a reporter who asked him a badgery question, and shot down a reporter who asked him about being a Georgia guy by saying "I'm a Florida guy" and then pouring a molten crown over his head.