clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:


Vive la France! For Bastille Day, we got you a crushing defeat at the hands of our women's soccer team. BONNE CHANCES BITCHES.

THE INVESTIGATION IS NOT OVER BUT EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY KNEW THAT BUT LET'S JUST DO IT ANYWAY.  There's so much weirdness here; an incident from 45 days ago that didn't get reported anywhere else, a reiteration of what was already widely known in stating that the investigation was open, Gene Chizik bowing up in public on an NCAA's just odd. Thamel's not making anything up here, he's just repackaging something a month and a half down the road that somehow slid by every other reporter in the room. It seems like sausage-making in the July drought, and if so it is fine internet-savvy work in the production sense. In terms of being "breaking news," well, it's not. (Handsome Rick Muscles was ahead of the story, anyway.)

Godfrey thinks Chizik was barking at the wrong door of the Argument Clinic.

THIS IS BREAKING NEWS AND PAUL JOHNSON DOESN'T GIVE A POSSUM'S TITS ABOUT IT.  Today's new program being investigated by the NCAA is Georgia Tech, who will announce the findings they received from the NCAA regarding potential violations in their football program at 3 p.m. this afternoon. Nothing else is known about the violations formally, but Zach Klein says they have something to do with BeBe Thomas and Morgan Burnett receiving gifts in the form of watches and t-shirts. It's probably piddling business, but seriously Paul Johnson so does not give a shit about this, you, or your damn fool face.

BECAUSE THIS DOESN'T SEEM BOTH LATE AND WEIRD. Ohio State high school coaches may be wearing white shirts, sweatervests, and ties to honor Jim Tressel this fall, though any such move is voluntary. The rest of Ohio will continue to support the new coaching staff at Ohio State by wearing Affliction shirts and using the word "skanks" a lot.

YOU HAVE TO BE BRAVE TO BE SWINE. Football Study Hall's adjusted strength of schedules puts Arkansas at the top of all strength of schedules for the years 2003-2010, and if you doubt the veracity of that number consider that Arkansas happily signed up to be shot in the face by USC during those years, played a full SEC schedule, and landed in bowl games against some truly nasty teams. Another surprise if you do not pay attention to football in LARRY SCOTT'S HOUSE OF VISION AND UNLIMITED TASTEFUL NUDITY: Oregon State, the subject of today's preview on the mothership, also went big, fought large bears whenever they walked through the door, and didn't complain a bit even while sewing their own arms back on with dental floss. Self-sufficiency is an important element of the pioneer ethos.

ONE MORE YEAR AND THEN IT MOVES TO A PLACE WITH SOUTH BEND'S CRIME BUT WITHOUT THE SOUL-KILLING SOUTHBENDNESS. The College Football Hall of Fame, which does not have Tommie Frazier as a member, will stay in South Bend through 2012 before moving to its rightful spot in Atlanta, Georgia, the City Too Busy To Hate Anything But Yankee Football. [SHERMAN JOKES MAKE 'EM HERE]  The point of this is to mention that Tommie Frazier is not in the College Football Hall of Fame, and will remain a bullshit concept as long as he's left out of their ranks.

THAT'S A SECRET, DAMMIT. Click after the jump for a headline of humorous nature.



Only once in college, and for love, not money.