The CI is up even later than usual due to travel. We're going to Richmond to play semi-pro football today! And in related news, we're going to die tonight in Richmond.
A DEEP LOOK INSIDE THE EDSBS EDITORIAL PROCESS. Staff emails, paraphrased: "Hey, I thought about you last night, Spence/Orson/whatever." "Oh, really? When?" "I found this hilarious gallery of sex dolls." "Um." "One was wearing this."
"Oh, well, that's totally relevant. I was worried for a minute there." "Ha." "Yeah, right, ha?"
[AWKWARD SILENCE]
BTW, if there's an image that captures the current frame of mind of Ohio State fans, it is probably this, especially with everyone now denying everything and running into the arms of the UFL and pointing at Texas and going "whaaaaa--". Whoever Pryor's attorney is, he's certainly putting forth his proper degree of effort in rehashing old Jason Whitlock columns for his client's defense. (He will never have gorilla-strength legal defense, however, until he gets in touch with Ted Liggett. GORILLA GRODD AGREES.)
(Oh, and Dan Wetzel just chimed in reminding everyone why Ohio State could get nailed harder than USC: documentation, documentation, documentation. )
THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING, CHEESE TOAST. Don't make the war dogs chase you, because they will Russell Wilson, oh they will. BREAKING NEWS: Russell Wilson loves handing the ball off, and the way Wisconsin runs it, well, why the hell not.
MIKE BELLAMY NEEDS A BANK. $3300 at the age of 18 is really close to what you might consider fuck-you money. Given your expenses and understanding of the world at that age, the budget breaks down like this:
- Rent: one-third of apartment, like $500 or so with utilities
- Food: I dunno, like dining hall and Taco Bell. That's like $20 a week or some shit?
- Remainder: ENDLESS RETIREMENT FUND
So perhaps, just perhaps, Clemson RB Mike Bellamy might have a reason for being so proud of his savings--and surely that's what they are, savings, not the result of some kind of illicit and prohibited benefit--that he felt like he should show them to the world. Whatever it is, we're sure it's a straightforward challenge to the United States Treasury to print more money so that Mr. Bellamy may collect it like the greenback-craving cash hunter he i 
AH I HAVE FALLEN AND FUMBLED AWAY MY CASH AHHHHH IT IS SO HEFTY IT IS SLIPPING FROM MY VERY HANDS CLEARLY I AM A DESIRABLE MAN WHOSE PLEASURES ARE LIMITLESS AND WHOSE FEROCITY ON THE FIELD, IN THE VENUE OF LIFELONG HUSTLIN', AND IN THE ARENA OF THE EROTIC ARTS IS UNQUESTIONABLE. HERMANO! YOU ARE ADVISED TO COME IN MY DIRECTION IF YOU DARE. THIS IS A NOVEL PITCH WHICH NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD BEFORE. (Via Bryce and TN)
RE: TERRIBLE SELF-ADVERTISEMENTS. TSK has the best argument we've heard yet for allowing athletes to profit off of their own likenesses at the NCAA level.
Me? I'd look forward to it just because I'm an aficionado of terrible local ads that coaches and former players do. Take that Clint Stoerner ad up there. The production values are only the second-worst part of it next to the horrendous copy that he had to read. While its entertaining to see ol' Clint wonder what could have been if he had this apparently growth hormone-laced milk as a kid, just imagine the fun if athletes could do these while in school.
The Clint Stoerner ad for Coleman Milk is sublime, but let's sweeten the deal further: Chris Rainey for Boost Mobile. "When you need to say something, but then need to immediately delete it forever? BOOST MOBILE." [SMILE]
OH COME ON WHY CAN'T WE JUST GIVE THEM A RATING OF PARTICIPATION BANNER. Holly's right: someone deserves an F in NCAA '12's team rankings. (Hint! It rhymes with "Akron.") "This isn't Feelingsball" is our new retort to everything.
WE SORT OF LIKE IT. Please remember that Michigan only approved permanent lighting at the Big House in 2010, so any angst over changing anything in Ann Arbor is a sort of Michigan tradition. We like these, but Michigan fans will probably despise them despite their tangential link to Michigan's past and its most illustrious citizen, Horace Prettyman. (Horace Prettyman, as far as we know, never wore these jerseys, but any excuse to link Horace Prettyman is an excuse brazenly taken.)
MARLON RANDO: That ball is fucked. We missed fireworks boxing in 1887 Sports Cards the other day, and how we'll never know. Sorry. Real life. Tennessee just banned "distressing digital images" HAHAHAH YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW BY LOOKING AT THIS SITE IN TN. Especially when you look at the picture after the jump.
GIGGITY JAILTIME