clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

THE CURIOUS INDEX, 6/6/2011

New, 1084 comments

OVERSIGNING WILL NOW BE REFERRED TO AS UNDERSTOCKING. We were tooling around Colorado when the oversigning story broke--this was written on Thursday from the beautiful Quality Inn Suites in Evergreen---so the above caption is probably our best reaction to the SEC taking the bold step of saying each team can only be 15 scholarships theoretically over the 85 scholarship limit

There's one rule aimed at Houston Nutt (restricting overall signees to 25,) one at Nick Saban (the conference oversight of medical scholarships,) and one super-duper aimed at Houston Nutt, the restriction on the one-year grad school transfer that might as well be known as the Masoli Rule. (While Masoli has not returned to Ole Miss to follow his passion for Parks and Recreation, the year's young yet! He'll surely return! Yes! This is said seriously!)

It's a step! And that statement should reek of underwhelm! (We have now used our monthly allotment of exclamation marks, per SEC regulations on overpunctuation! Jim Delany says just as well, and reiterates that you are all, well, you know: 

YAAAYYYAAAAAYYAAAAEEEAYYYY IT'S A PARTY IN THE I TO THE A WHERE'S MY WRIST-SLITTING RAZOR--- The Big Ten has decided on Indianapolis as the site for the B1G Championship Game through 2015, attempting to bring a light to a state whose only joys are suicide, the occasional Parks and Rec shoutout, and an automobile race filled with sorrow and cruel fate. LucasOil Stadium is the only dome in play in the B1G's territory, so it is a natural fit for the game, and really won't be as bad as you imagine if only because your imagination can do some pretty dire things with the word "Indianapolis."

The stadium is downtown and near all the necessaries, the bars do serve domestic beer in cans, and it has an airport. That's really all most football fans need, and as long as they leave immediately after the game the sorrow shouldn't be contagious.

SORROW, CONT'D. A sport without someone named "Herman Lathers" is arguably poorer for his absence. This latest injury to Tennessee's linebackers does continue to add bits of evidence to the mounting proof of Holly's "The Vols Play On A Haunted Indian Burial Mound Located Between The Hashes At Neyland" theorem.

HEY LET'S KEGGER AT TRESSEL'S. All we want to know about this is whether Tressel was wearing pants, because if it were us on the end of a major firing from a university, you bet like hell we'd turn it into a long, rambling pantless diatribe about "the bastards" and "The bastard things they do." Then we'd probably invite everyone inside and encourage everyone to burn the place down for insurance money. (In other words, an exact play-by-play of Leach's criminally underreported exit from Lubbock.) Meanwhile, LULZ CONSCIENCE.

ETCETERA: Um, that's unfortunate. The single greatest inspirational guitar solo entrance ever. You're damn right Holgo/Stewart is the next post.