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NORTH CAROLINA RECEIVES NCAA LETTER OF ALLEGATIONS

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UNC has received its letter of allegations from the NCAA, and will release the full details sometimes later this evening. They'll probably do it late at night and literally leave a few poorly copied duplicates of it while reading a canned statement on a loading dock no one knows about on the side of the building or something. That's what we'd do, but we were a terrible servant of the public interest, and would probably only function well in a working environment like the Nixon White House.

As for UNC fans, we suggest the Angela Bassett double. First you go like this...

Bassettcries_medium

...and then you should be like this:

Bassettsnapandflames_medium

That's pretty much a go for Ohio State fans, or Oregon fans fearing Chip Kelly has just Tresseled himself, or anyone else who believed the computer, waited around for the cake, and is now being thrown into the furnace at the end of the game. Too much Portal WHY NEVER---