What follows is a live account of our initial impressions of the NCAA '12 trailer. We understand nothing about the design FB video games, but if Stephen Garcia's BAC is not a factor in how he plays, we call bullshit forever.
0:10 THE OREGON DUCK CLIMBING ONTO A MOTORCYCLE AND MOTORING MAJESTICALLY DOWN THE FIELD. An auspicious beginning.
0:24 The way the camera bounces along when that feathery stick Florida State is so fond of gets driven into the turf! Such beauty.
0:27 Florida players really pet the shriveled preserved head of an alligator to get fired up for games. All they're missing is a real one on the sidelines. We can dream. Oh, we can dream.
0:30 That USC fellow with the sword looks teeeteringly hungover. VERISIMILITUDE BONUS.
0:34 U-S-A! U-S-A!
0:37 Bevo also looks hungover. MORE POINTS FOR TRUTHINESS.
0:42 OK, we've never seen Uga move like that where one of Robert Baker's ankles wasn't involved, but whatever.
0:50 SHIT SHIT SHIT STAMPEDING BUFFALO SHIT RUN IT'S A BUFFALO (love u forever, Ralphie Whatever)
0:58 MORE PUDDLES, THE LORD OF ALL MASCOTS. If they show the Ducky doing the Dougie we may die of pure mirth.
0:59 By the time they get around to showing actual plays of football we are straight up drooling on the keyboard, although it always cracks us up to see thunderhead clouds depicted over downtown Los Angeles.
1:02 Auburn player is selfishly tackled by an LSU player his teammates have neglected to chop-block.
1:05 Jeezum Crow, is that supposed to be Lane Kiffin? It looks like a roided-out toddler. [moment of silence]
1:20 WE LOVE THE FAT TCU COACH SHOT, although we have no idea who that's supposed to be. He just looks jaunty as all get-out.
1:25 At times, artistic license for the sake of drama must be made. Case in point: this shot of a raucous, enthusiastic, and existent Miami student section.
1:28 We can't get a good look at the guy in the middle of this Boise State bearhug, but HAS A FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN JUST OCCURRED? Oh, the portent of fat glories to come.
[Disclaimer: EA Sports doesn't pay us to shill for their fine products, but we think they could do a lot worse than stick a camera stuck in the room when Fearless Leader, Worstfan, BurritoBrosShits, Hutchins, et al get their collective danders up over sportsmanship points.]
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