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WE'RE NOT SURE CHRISTIAN PETER DIDN'T ASSAULT THE CAMERAMAN AFTER THIS VIDEO. HuskerMax unearthed the 15 minute long pre-Fiesta Bowl Nebraska hype-up video from the 1995 season, and we'll be damned if it isn't the ur-hype video of all ur-hype videos. "Thunderstruck?" Check. Cut-edits of a season's sum of heinous beatings and blocks? Check. The promise of mutual right nut-giving? Check. "In the Air Tonight?" Oh, the live version, because it's special time, clearly, along with "Sirius" by the Alan Parsons Project, "Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crue, and a particularly nice montage of the inhuman Tommie Frazier running set to Eric B. and Rakim's "Follow the Leader."

It is the basis for all other pregame motivational videos, but be warned: there are three separate segments of Christian Peter going completely insane. The video is cued up at the first one; installment two is around the ten minute mark, and installment three is around 12:30 or so. You have been warned.

That smell you have wafting through your office is fifteen year old nandralone and the lingering smell of sexual assault vapor. (Via reader Justin.)

"HE'S ACTUALLY BEEN PRETTY GOOD THIS SEMESTER." Our favorite part in Stephen Garcia's suspension from spring practice is Garcia missing yet another chunk of spring practice due to disciplinary issues, showing that he is more than ready for the pros with his expertise in missing bothersome, unnecessary practice and workouts. The other amusing side note is Spurrier saying "he's actually been pretty good this semester," a phrase that makes Garcia sound less like a college student, and more like a shaggy one hundred pound dog of undetermined pedigree Spurrier adopted who has a real habit of getting into the garbage and peeing on the couch.  (Wait, that's TOTALLY Stephen Garcia.) 

SURPRISE! Boise doesn't use recruiting services too much.

WE TAKE A STAND FOR THE HUMBLE GREEN BEAN. We're going to take a stand and suggest that the green bean's size and snap clearly smokes the often mushy English Pea, Coach Muschamp, and PAAWWWWWWWLLL, if he don't recognize that we don't know if he's the man for the job, PAAAWWWWLLLLL. 

Muschamp said deciding whether his players should eat green beans or English peas at the training table even became an issue.

"Some guys want to eat green beans and some want green peas," Muschamp said. "When you choose green beans, those that wanted peas are going to be mad."

If butter beans are in this discussion, however, both lose by furlongs. This is not a point of debate. 

HORRENDOUS METAPHORS ARE FREE. Paul Finebaum's got 'em for days. In more positive Auburn news, their bass fishing team is ranked first in the nation, mostly thanks to them paying fish to get in the boat. When will Auburn bribery jokes end NEVER WE SAY NEVER WE WILL DRIVE THEM INTO THE GROUND UNTIL THEY COME OUT OF THE EARTH AND TERRIFY A GROUP OF CONFUSED CHINESE FACTORY WORKERS.

PROOF EA'S JUST MARKETING TO STONERS NOW. Look at the grass, man. It's blowing my mind.