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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/11/2011

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FARMAGEDDON GETS THE SOUNDTRACK IT DOES NOT DESERVE. The Iowa State/Kansas State rivalry really deserves some more voltage. Its moniker is "Farmageddon." There is a real live potential for brawling with farming implements. It takes place in Nowhere, or alternately in the other team's home field of Alsonowhere. Livestock are visible from the upper stands in Manhattan. IT'S REAL, Y'ALL, THAT'S THE POINT.

So while this isn't perfect, you can see the gritty allure of a game where a preview video starts off with slides of the Dust Bowl.

It really should be so much better than it is, if only to allow ABC's video crew to go crazy on pregame Depression/blues montages. 

WE'RE SURE CHARLIE WEIS WILL BE THRILLED WITH THIS. Jacoby Brissett, the late add to the Florida recruiting class at QB, wants to play basketball as well because he likes being really, really tired. We're fine with this, especially because it will probably irritate the Fat Man, and even though he's now Florida's offensive coordinator we still want him to be a little irritated because it's damn entertaining to watch. 

CALLING IT THE DOOLEY RULE WOULD BE CRUEL HEY EVERYONE IT'S THE DOOLEY RULE. Rogers Redding's review of rule change proposals includes a ten second runoff for a penalty at the end of a quarter, i.e. the kind of rule that would have allowed Tennessee to run off ten seconds at the end of the Music City Bowl. Somehow Derek Dooley and Tennessee will lose because of this rule, but that's because Football Loki never sleeps and always has a plan for these things. There's a few other tweaks about blocking below the waist, and this in no way at all will be bad for Georgia Tech and Navy's cut-blocking schemes.*

*It could be very bothersome for them.

RANDY SHANNON AND RANDY EDSALL TOGETHER? THAT'S EXCITEMENT! Randy Shannon is reportedly close to becoming the new DC at Maryland, where he will inspire the troops by introducing himself and telling an inspirational story about a friend of his who had everything: money, good looks, a loving wife and kids.

"And then, one day driving down I-95, he got into a car accident. His car rolled five times, caught on fire, and then exploded. He lived, but then was horrendously burned. He got over that, too, recovering despite having an ear burned off in the accident. You know what they call that man today, boys? Dead, because he had cancer the whole time and died last week. What's the point? LIfe's hard, men, and you won't make it out alive. Just remember that. Now let's have some fun."

ALSO KNOWN AS TROOPER TAYLOR'S PLAYGROUND. If and when the next program to be hit with agent contact issues is hammered, it will come from these, since agents are already running intermediaries through seven-on-sevens and there is undoubtedly some lubricant cash flowing through the system. 

HOLGO THE BARBARIAN FEATURED PROMINENTLY.  Chris goes over the red-zone options for a pass-first offense, which include the surprisingly simple suggestion of "have a goal line package." You'd be shocked how many teams don't actually do this, though let's give the departed Steve Addazio some credit: he had one, and it was horrible! THANK YOU TEMPLE.